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Amarli senza se e senza ma
Alfie Kohn
Dalla logica dei premi e delle punizioni a quella dell’amore e della ragione.Un classico dell’amore incondizionato. Come crescere i figli eliminando finalmente i piccoli ricatti, le minacce, le promesse e i premi.
Crescere un figlio non è un gioco da ragazzi!Diventare genitori è un esame costante sulle capacità di affrontare disordine e imprevedibilità, un ruolo per cui non ci si può preparare davvero.Una delle difficoltà maggiori è la tentazione di domare l’atteggiamento di opposizione dei figli alle nostre richieste, rischiando di trasformarli in burattini addomesticati o, al contrario, di provocare danni approvando tutto ciò che dicono e fanno.Allora, come farsi obbedire dai propri figli?Sistemi educativi quali punizioni, castighi, premi e altre forme di controllo inducono i nostri figli a credere di essere amati solo se ci compiacciono o ci colpiscono in modo favorevole.Nel suo libro Alfie Kohn si allontana dai messaggi veicolati da certi metodi convenzionali e ribalta la prospettiva, chiedendosi quali siano i bisogni dei nostri figli e come possiamo soddisfarli.L’autore suggerisce una serie di idee per allontanarsi da metodi abituali che prevedono l’imposizione di qualcosa ai bambini, per approcciarsi a modalità che portino invece alla collaborazione con loro.Amarli senza se e senza ma risponde a una domanda cruciale: le nostre azioni quotidiane possono contribuire a rendere nostro figlio l’adulto che vorremmo?Consigli utili affinché il bambino possa aspirare a diventare un adulto sano, responsabile ma allo stesso tempo sensibile e premuroso.Un libro rivoluzionario e illuminante per diventare a tutti gli effetti genitori senza se e senza ma, poiché uno dei bisogni fondamentali del bambino è proprio essere amato in maniera incondizionata ed essere accettato anche quando combina guai o fallisce: in sintesi, essere amato per quello che è e non per quello che fa.
Conosci l’autore
Alfie Kohn ha pubblicato diversi libri, tra cui Punished by Rewards e The Schools Our Children Deserve, che hanno dato un forte contributo all’operato di educatori e genitori. Vive con la famiglia nei pressi di Boston, dove tiene conferenze e seminari, ed è raggiungibile sul web all’indirizzo www.alfiekohn.org.